To,
A fortunate occurrence
A happy place
A happy time
[Sub :Expiration of our comradeship.]
Dear,
I think you didn’t hurt me enough… because I could still manage to fall in love with you.
I fell in love with that pure satisfaction that your face beamed just after we would have sex. It was priceless! How you just wouldn’t let me go at once, but call after me twice or thrice to say little nothings. I am almost tempted to write don’t let me go….
How you would demand to be touched and kissed by me while you drove the car. It was like claiming what was yours. I had loved to think of myself as yours.
I would like to look back at what happened as an extraordinary event. But then what is there to this event? Life acted just the way it always does – unfair. I wouldn’t hope for our unification in a different space, at a different time, because I want you now, right here, while you have those intriguing eyes and I have this contagious smile.
For right now is the only time that exists, that I am assured of; and sadly our ‘now’ is slipping away fast.
Are you keeping up with its pace, love?
For I feel left behind.
As I write this, love (let me call you love for this momentary moments), I am so scared. I realize that my vivid memories with you wouldn’t be that vivid after a while. How does it feel when a pleasant memory is fading away and all you do is sit there sipping coffee watching helplessly as life tears away the most beautiful pages of your life?
I have decided not to cry because of all the emotions, pain is the one that lingers around the longest. I will hold on to this pain as it’s the kind I am willing to bear.
Do me a favor, please? In one of those bedtime stories, tell your daughter that a woman loved her daddy like an idiot and that if she ever feels unloved in this cruel little world of ours, she could go to her as she still owes some love to you. For she had a surplus but you lacked the appetite perhaps.
It has taken complete exhaustion, emotional drain and acute ache of every inch of my being to finally part ways with you. I wouldn’t say it was worth it. The only thing that we are worthy of, is being together for as long as I can imagine.
Some people fight a battle against life, my love, and some of those wild hearts even win in the end. Guess we aren’t that kind…
I will let go of you and I will shed a tear or two on those gloomy summer afternoons in some corner of my house. But don’t worry, in the end, I shall smile and shine like you always wanted me to.
Yours truly!
