You must have often come across the term gold digger in your life. Obviously, it is a negative term which means any person whose primary interest in a relationship is material benefits. But what is not obvious is that a gold-digger could be both male (The closest male equivalent is a gigolo or boytoy) or a female.
While it is okay to be compassionate and helpful, what is not okay is to be fooled and used by people.
1 Our natural instincts give us the warning against people who seem odd and parasitic, but somehow we still end up being used and feeling betrayed.
You must have come across a lot of stories where rich people are not ready to disclose their identity because they have this prejudice that people only want them or claim to love them because they happen to be rich. In fact, this is a story line of many movies also.
Everyone wants to be loved for who they are not for the money they own. It is pretty obvious than for rich people to have a general attitude of skepticism towards others. But then again, it is not only rich folks who are vulnerable to gold-diggers but as a matter of fact, anyone can be caught into this unfortunate(literally) situation.
Not all of us are practical and even those who are practical are not always practical. Just like they say love is blind. When we are in love with somebody, we want them to have everything they need and we want us to be able to see to their desires. In that frenzy, we even compromise our own needs and jeopardize our financial status for the person who matters to us.
We fail to realize that maybe this person who claims to be in love with us is just taking advantage of our resources or gullible nature. Now it is difficult to spot someone out as a gold-digger but the following are some pointers that hint towards a potential gold-digger:
Their needs are never ending
They always want something or the other from you. They generally start from cribbing about things that they badly need but can not afford it. Once you fall for it and get them what they want, well then, there is some more cribbing and then it finally comes to the point where they just start asking you directly to get them this or that because now they know that you would never say no to them.
They stay only as long as you serve their interest
If the gold-digger finds a better and bigger host, he/she finds some or other lame reason to leave you and move on with their digging somewhere else. Ever wondered why that person suddenly left you when everything was okay between you two? They gave reasons that didn’t make sense to you and created issues on purpose. And suddenly one day you come across them walking hand in hand with some hot shot suit guy with tons of shopping bags. HAHA! you know who they are!
They are vindictive
Remember that one time you did not give them what they wanted and how they created a havoc because of that?
“No, you don’t love me anymore.”
“You have somebody else in your life.”
‘you don’t care about me.”
[ Throws around stuff in the house; Does not take your calls, etc.]
They are materialistic
Now, being materialistic is a pretty common thing, but for these parasitic people, material happiness is all that matters. It is always about the gifts. Gifts make them so happy that sometimes you might think that instead of making efforts to satisfy her in bed you would rather buy her a Zara dress.
If you notice closely, you would see that if you get them something unsatisfactory according to their taste they don’t even attempt to hide their disappointment. They have their own sadistic ways to make you feel bad for disappointing them. The fact that you made an effort for them means nothing to them.
Normally, the things that we receive from our beloved is valuable because it came from them. But gold-diggers care about the market value of stuff. They like to flaunt their belongings in front of others. So, you need to get them what they can show off otherwise it is not good enough.
They are selfish
They keep making demands, sometimes subtle sometimes not. They would never consider your financial issues or other issues for that matter. This relationship would never give you peace and contentment no matter what you do.
One needs to remember that relationships are a two-way thing, few steps you take and another few are taken by your partner. If anything makes you think that your relationship does not work on the same principle then it is time for you to stop and retrospect.
They are particular about the face value of everything
There is no depth to such people. They might just go for somebody with looks and do not think about the kind of person they are. They always want to look good more than do good or think good. They are concerned about their public image. You won’t qualify to be around them if you don’t have your bank account brimming with currency. You need to have qualities that they could boast off in front of their friends. Precisely, that quality is your richness and fancy lifestyle.
Gold-diggers don’t care about your feelings. They will emotionally blackmail you to have their ends met. The relationship with them can be emotionally abusive.
Now, everyone may seem like a gold-digger to you but the distinguishing factor is what matters for your partner in the end. What should matter is the relationship both of you have, love should matter, feelings should matter.
For money comes and goes and it cannot give you everything.
It also does not mean that for whoever money matters becomes a gold digger. Money does matter practically but it shouldn’t be the only thing that matters.